Star Wars meets Nadir

Here I am, a week after my first treatment.  It's been interesting.  You know, you step out on this journey and it's somewhere you've never been before.  Others have gone before you, even people you know, and can tell you what it's probably going to be like.  That's the thing though... probably.  Really, no two people react exactly the same to chemotherapy, even the same regimen of chemotherapy.  It's really scary stepping into the somewhat unknown and knowing that each day can bring something new.  Sometimes that something new is really hard, sometimes it's manageable.

The last week for me has seen several side effects from the chemotherapy.  Some of them are directly related to the drug, others are a result of my state of mind.  For the first two days, I was really lucky I think.  I had virtually no side effects.  The best way I can describe the first two days is just a feeling of something off.  It's not something I could put my finger on or really describe.  I didn't feel bad, but I knew something was not quite right.  They included drugs in my IV to combat nausea when I received my treatment.  One was supposed to last 24 hours, the second was supposed to last 72 hours.  I guess they did because I didn't have any nausea and even now, I can say I've had very little this last week after those drugs exited my body.  I went out Saturday and tried on some wigs.  Typically, with the treatment I'm having, my hair will start falling out around day 14.  I posted the photos on Facebook to get some feedback from family and friends.  I will share the photos here as well:

Wig 1:

This long, highlighted brown wig received a lot of positive feedback.  However, from my reading on forums with women that have taken this journey, I doubt I would wear this wig very much.  I may get it for "just in case" or special occasions, but I'd like to see it in different colors first.

Wig 2:

This short blonde wig didn't receive as much positive feedback, but some really liked it.  From what I've read, I do know the shorter wigs will be those that I will most likely prefer.  As one friend put it:

"I can personally guarantee that once you're in the rough phase of chemo, you will reach for the short wig every time (or scarf if it's faster to put on). You are about to take a path that means you need to make your daily life as easy as possible."

So, this is what I have to consider and why I will most likely go with a shorter wig for daily use, but I most likely won't go this blonde (maybe).

Wig 3:

This short light brown wig has the color that feels most natural for me, in my opinion.  It had some positive feedback as well, but it's just a little TOO short, I think.

I did not try any scarves (they did not have them at this shop) or turbans, but plan to do so.  I need to make a decision soon as the momentous occasion will happen within the next week.  I have also read that most likely (see this recurring theme here?) the first several days after it starts coming out, my scalp will be very painful and I won't feel like putting anything on it.  I also know I'm going to be very emotional about it.  I already am if I spend any time thinking too hard about it.  I was emotional on this day when we started trying these wigs, but the ladies at the Merle Norman shop in Hiram, GA were SUPER nice and supportive.

Late Saturday and into Sunday, some body aches began and continued for several days in different parts of my body.  Those have gone away as of now and in their place, I have a really annoying rash that I keep telling my self NOT to scratch.  I'm trying really hard.  My mouth is also pretty off.  The best way I can describe it is that sensation when you've burned your mouth on something really hot.  It's like the feeling you have afterward.  So far, I'm lucky that I don't have any mouth sores, as sometimes that can be a side effect as well.  There are a few other things going on that are relatively mild as well, but manageable.

One thing I was pretty excited about this week was the premier of Star Wars.  I bought my ticket on Fandango weeks ago and was looking forward to hanging out with friends and fellow fans and seeing this super awesome movie.  I went to see my medical oncologist on Wednesday for my 1-week blood work.  You see, there is this period in chemotherapy treatment called the nadir.  For my treatment, it is on days 10-14 after treatment and is the period at which my blood counts (red blood cells, platelets, white blood cells) reach their low point.  The blood count showed my red blood cells and platelets at acceptable levels, but my white blood cells were lower than they wanted.  The reason this is a concern, as many of you are aware, is that our WBC's are the first line of defense when fighting infection.  My doctor told me to immediately start taking the antibiotic they had given me (Cipro) twice a day and to come back in on Monday so we can check the blood counts again.  He also said that going forward, I will be receiving the shot to boost my white blood cell counts with each treatment.  We were hoping to avoid this for a couple of reasons: 1) It's very expensive, 2) It has its own rather unpleasant side effects. 

The other bad news...I asked the doctor about attending the movie.  He asked when I was going, then said, "Well, you will have three rounds of the antibiotic in your system by then.  As long as you wear your mask, use your hand sanitizer, and avoid anyone sick, it should be okay."  I tried a trial run at lunch since I needed some groceries.  I put my little mask on and headed off to Publix.  It was emotional because I felt so self-conscious.  I also found that those masks are HOT.  I kept fogging up my glasses and trying to adjust it over my nose.  After that experiment, I realized going to the movie was out of the question so I regretfully cancelled my ticket and stayed home.  In this case, the force was not stronger.

The funniest thing to happen this past week came from one of my former professors at UWG.  On the photo album I created on Facebook for my wig looks, Dr. B suggested I "Go Anime!"  He further went on to suggest that "There's always a chance you'll get superpowers out of this, so best to be prepared and look the part".  So, what do you think, is one of these me?

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You just never know...

Lights... Camera... Action...

... or in my case:

Treatment... Side-effects... CURE!

I know it's been almost a month since the last update.  I am very happy to say that the results from the sentinel node biopsy were not nearly as grim as previously stated.  I've thought back over what I and my sister heard post surgery and I really have no good explanation for the disparity between what we heard and the actual outcome.  BUT, the good news:

... I did not have 3 nodes test positive

... I did not have 30-40 nodes removed

According to the pathology report, confirmed by my oncologist, the first sentinel node (which is the first lymph node into which the radioactive solution drained) did test positive.  It contained a tumor about 4mm in size, so pretty small.  Due to the 1st node testing positive, they performed the axillary dissection to remove the tissue containing the related nodes.  Post-surgery, they determined that tissue contained 12 additional lymph nodes... and NONE of those tested positive for cancer.  YAY!

I had to deal with the annoying drain tube for just over 2 weeks.  It was finally removed November 30.  Thankfully, my employer (Greenway Health) has been fully supportive through this whole process and I was able to work from home during that time.  I want to send a HUGE thank you to them and my team members in Carrollton, GA and Alachua, FL for their support.  A second HUGE shout-out goes to my sister, Jana, and my cousin, Tonya.  They made sure I had easy to heat / prepare food those first few days after surgery.  I finally returned to the office on December 1 and was happy to do so.  Working from home full-time is not for me.  I got tired of the walls of my home and I missed the interaction with my co-workers in Carrollton - they are such a fun bunch to work with!

While most of the pain is gone, there are some residual effects from the surgery including some remaining numbness and lack of 100% range of motion in that shoulder.  Some of the numbness may likely be long term, but I'm working on the range of motion all the time.  I'm about 95% there.  The incision is healing wonderfully and the hole where the drain tube was connected has closed and is healing just fine as well.  For the rest of my life, however, I'm going to have to be extra careful with my right arm, to prevent injury or other damage.  What would be a mild or inconsequential injury in most cases could turn into something very serious since I am missing those lymph nodes in that area.

Now that we have all the information and I'm almost fully healed from the surgeries, it's time for action.  Because one node did test positive for cancer, my oncologist stated that my cancer has been classified as Stage 2 and we have a plan to fight it: 1) Chemotherapy, 2) Radiation, 3) Tamoxifen

Part 1:

Part 1 will be chemotherapy.  I will receive 4 treatments at 3 week intervals.  My first treatment will be this upcoming week on Wednesday, December 9.  Because I will only be receiving 4 treatments, I will receive the infusions via IV instead of having a port.  This is good news since there are drawbacks from using a port, including scarring and risk of infection.

My chemotherapy will consist of a combination of 2 drugs: Cytoxan and Taxotere.  The side-effects are expected to be typical and include nausea, low blood counts, fatigue, and hair loss (among others).  The nausea can begin as early as the same day, though I will receive medication in the IV to help with this as well as receiving a prescription to take once I am at home.  The hair loss will begin 2-3 weeks after the first treatment.  It will grow back once the treatments are complete and may even come back with a different color and/or texture.  It will be interesting to see how mine grows back. :)

During this time, I will see my oncologist weekly so they can keep check on my blood counts and make sure they are staying within acceptable ranges.  I will also have to be very careful to avoid any situations that might compromise my immune system or make me ill.

At this point, I'm hoping to be able to continue working during this stage, but we'll play it by ear as we see how this first treatment plays out.  Again, I am so very blessed to have a job and an employer that allows me to work from home when needed.  If the side-effects for me are a worst case scenario, I do have short-term disability compensation available.  We are going to pray very hard that I don't have to use this.

Part 2:

Once the chemotherapy is complete, there will be several weeks of radiation.  This will be received daily during this time period.  I have confirmed that we are going to set this up so I can receive these treatments in Carrollton instead of in Austell.  Since I work in Carrollton, traveling to Austell on a daily basis once we get to this point would have definitely been an issue.  But, once we get started, the treatments themselves take very little time each day - just a few minutes.  I'll have more information on this stage once we get closer to it.

Part 3:

After the radiation is complete, I will be on an oral medication called Tamoxifen for 5 years.

Wow... that sounds like a lot of negative huh?  A bunch of people may think so.  I know the next few months are going to have some hard times.  You know what though?  I received a poem at my surgeon's office that very clearly sums up how I feel:

As always, thank you all for your thoughts, concern, love, and prayers.  The next few months are going to be interesting and challenging, but...